Unhealthy conflict destroys families, marriages, relationships
Read 1 Peter 3:8-9 -Five Traits For Christ-followers
1. He says first, all of you be one mind "harmonious,"
2. Next, all of you be "sympathetic,"
3. Next, all of you be "brotherly,"
4. Next, all of you be "tenderhearted."
5. Next, all of you be humble attitude "humble in spirit."
Eph 4:25 – 5:2
Healthy Conflict Guidelines
1. Be truthful v. 25
a. “The Day America Told the Truth,” by James Patterson,
91% of Americans lie routinely about matters they consider trivial
1 out of 3 lie about important matters
86% lie on a regular basis to their parents
75% lie to their friends
7 out of 10 married people lie to their spouses
b. Lying
disrupts unity
creating conflicts
annihilate trust
destroys relationships
c. You can not build a relationship if honesty, integrity, and truth are not valued.
2. Get Mad, but don’t sin. V. 26
a. Learn not to bottle up your anger
b. Learn not to explode in your anger
c. Learn to control your anger.
d. Resolve your issues quickly
If we nurse our anger, we will give Satan an opportunity to divide us
3. Play Nice v. 29
Watch the words that come from your mouth
be careful using words like Never or Always
Don’t define your spouse in the negative.
See your spouse the way God does
Build up your spouse
Ask yourself, will this build up my spouse before you say it.
4. Praise the Lord v.30 & 31
It catches the devil off guard!
It replaces bitterness and rage with holiness and peace.
5. Practice forgiveness v. 32
Let go of past hurts
Let it go and build on a foundation for forgiveness for your future
6. Love as Christ loved v. 5:1-2
Christ loved therefore He confronted in truth
Christ loved therefore He became angry but he did not sin
Christ loved therefore everything that came out of his mouth benefited those who would receive what he said.
Christ loved therefore He led a life of worship
Christ loved therefore He forgave.
You must love as Christ loved and gave Himself up for us.
Which leads us back to the 5traits mentioned at the beginning- Model Christ in our families!!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Week 2: Snapshots- Intentional Forgiveness
I. THE COST OF FORGIVENESS IS ENORMOUS!
Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Secret 1 of Forgiveness: To live through a bad day, and to live an abundant life, begin by forgiving everyone who seems to be trying to ruin your life.
Matthew 18:32-35, “Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. ‘This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.’”
II. The cost of forgiveness is enormous, but THE COST OF UNFORGIVENESS IS ETERNAL!
First, forgiveness is a redemptive response to having been wronged and wounded.
Secret 2 of Forgiveness: To embrace the will to forgive anyone or everyone who seems to be ruining your life, Jesus points you to a starting place… “They don’t know what they are doing.”
Second, forgiveness requires that we wish our wrong doer well.
Third, forgiveness takes time.
C.S. Lewis wrote: “I think I have at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my youth. I had done it many times before, but this time I think I have really done it.”
Fourth, forgiveness does not require forgetting.
This is Secret 3 of Forgiveness: Forgiving those who hurt you is the key to not being permanently victimized by them.
Fifth, forgiveness ideally leads to reconciliation.
Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Six, forgiveness is something we should freely give.
Lewis Smedes says, “Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free and then discovering that the prisoner was you.”
And that’s Secret 4 of Forgiveness: Forgiving others is the key to living in the liberty of the freeing forgiveness Jesus has given us.
Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Secret 1 of Forgiveness: To live through a bad day, and to live an abundant life, begin by forgiving everyone who seems to be trying to ruin your life.
Matthew 18:32-35, “Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. ‘This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.’”
II. The cost of forgiveness is enormous, but THE COST OF UNFORGIVENESS IS ETERNAL!
First, forgiveness is a redemptive response to having been wronged and wounded.
Secret 2 of Forgiveness: To embrace the will to forgive anyone or everyone who seems to be ruining your life, Jesus points you to a starting place… “They don’t know what they are doing.”
Second, forgiveness requires that we wish our wrong doer well.
Third, forgiveness takes time.
C.S. Lewis wrote: “I think I have at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my youth. I had done it many times before, but this time I think I have really done it.”
Fourth, forgiveness does not require forgetting.
This is Secret 3 of Forgiveness: Forgiving those who hurt you is the key to not being permanently victimized by them.
Fifth, forgiveness ideally leads to reconciliation.
Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Six, forgiveness is something we should freely give.
Lewis Smedes says, “Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free and then discovering that the prisoner was you.”
And that’s Secret 4 of Forgiveness: Forgiving others is the key to living in the liberty of the freeing forgiveness Jesus has given us.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Week 1: "Snapshots" - Openly Expressed Affection
Matthew 26:6-13 Jesus Anointed at Bethany
6While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, 7 a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
8When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. 9"This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
10Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. 13I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
I. IT IS EXPENSIVE
II. PEOPLE WON’T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND IT
III. JESUS DESIRES IT
IV. THAT’S HOW YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED
The first way that we can express love and affection to somebody. It ought to be on the top of our list, all of our lists. That is, one, come right out and say it.
The second way that you can get love out of your heart and into someone else's is to put it in writing. To write it down.
The third way to convey love is through touch. Appropriate, loving, touch!
The fourth way is through small acts of kindness. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to each other." 1 John 3:18 says, "Don't love each other in word only, but with deeds as well."
Fifth, presence. The Bible recommends this one straight out in Romans 12:15 when it says, "If you want to express your love and affection in a real and powerful way, then rejoice with those who are rejoicing and weep with those who are weeping."
6While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, 7 a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
8When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. 9"This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
10Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. 13I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
I. IT IS EXPENSIVE
II. PEOPLE WON’T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND IT
III. JESUS DESIRES IT
IV. THAT’S HOW YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED
The first way that we can express love and affection to somebody. It ought to be on the top of our list, all of our lists. That is, one, come right out and say it.
The second way that you can get love out of your heart and into someone else's is to put it in writing. To write it down.
The third way to convey love is through touch. Appropriate, loving, touch!
The fourth way is through small acts of kindness. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to each other." 1 John 3:18 says, "Don't love each other in word only, but with deeds as well."
Fifth, presence. The Bible recommends this one straight out in Romans 12:15 when it says, "If you want to express your love and affection in a real and powerful way, then rejoice with those who are rejoicing and weep with those who are weeping."
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